Have you ever come across the saying “two’s company, three’s a crowd”? Well, some folks are flipping that on its head and making three the perfect number for connection and companionship. Welcome to the world of throuples!

What is a throuple?

A throuple, a fun blend of “three” and “couple,” is all about three people having a romantic relationship together. Getting a lot of attention lately as society opens up to more diverse ways to love and connect, a throuple—or “triad”—differs from polyamory and open relationships, focusing specifically on a triad where all members are equally involved and committed.

Unlike monogamous couples with fixed roles and exclusivity, throuples explore a more fluid and inclusive approach to intimacy among three partners.

Is it OK to be in a throuple?

Love should be all about what feels right for everyone involved—free from judgment and guided by the wishes and agreements of the people in the relationship.

Just like any relationship style, being in a throuple is perfectly okay, as long as all parties consent and communicate openly about their feelings and boundaries.

Types of throuples

Throuples come in many shapes and sizes, each shaped by the individual personalities of those involved and the special agreements and boundaries they establish together.

Here are a few different relationship structures that throuples can take:

Equal partnership

In this type, all three individuals share equal emotional and romantic connections with each other. Each member plays a vital role in the relationship, and decision-making is typically collaborative.

This egalitarian model can promote a strong sense of unity, where everyone’s voice is heard and contributions are valued equally.

Hierarchical throuple

In some throuples, the dynamics may feature a hierarchy, where one person takes on a more dominant role in the relationship. This could resemble a primary-secondary partnership, where one person has a primary romantic bond with the other two partners, who may relate to each other as secondary partners.

Hierarchical structures often come with specific agreements about emotional and sexual exclusivity between the primary partner and their secondary partners.

Open throuple

An open throuple involves a flexible relationship that allows partners to engage romantically or sexually with others outside the core group.

This type can foster a sense of freedom, as individuals are encouraged to explore connections beyond the throuple while still maintaining their primary bonds.

Benefits of a throuple

Being in a throuple offers unique perks that can really enhance the relationship dynamic and enrich the lives of all involved. Here’s a look at some key benefits:

More emotional support

With three people in the mix, you’ve got an expanded emotional support system. There’s always someone to lean on during tough times, which can help reduce stress and create a strong sense of community.

Varied connections

Each person brings their own vibe, experiences, and perspectives to the relationship. This variety can make interactions more fulfilling, as different needs—whether emotional, intellectual, or physical—are met in different ways.

Shared responsibilities

With three partners, you can divide up chores, finances, and other responsibilities more easily. This teamwork makes life’s practical stuff feel more manageable and less overwhelming.

Better communication

People tend to prioritize open communication, which is key for making the relationship work. This focus on honesty and sharing feelings often improves communication for everyone involved, building trust and understanding.

More room for sexual exploration

A throuple can open doors to new sexual experiences that may not happen in a traditional setup. It’s a chance to explore desires and preferences together, creating excitement and deeper intimacy.

Making a triple relationship work

Navigating the ins and outs of a three-way relationship can be rewarding, yet a bit tricky at times.

Just like any relationship, making a trio work relies on honest communication, trust, and treating each other with respect. So, how can you keep the vibes good and the connections strong?

Here are some tips to help throuples vibe, making sure everyone feels appreciated. With good communication and handling any bumps along the way, you can build a balanced space that highlights your unique bond.

1. Communication and conflict resolution

Effective communication is the backbone of any healthy relationship, but in a trio, it becomes even more vital. Misunderstandings can quickly escalate into frustrations when multiple individuals are involved, so it’s crucial to foster an environment of transparency and honesty.

How to maintain open communication:

  • Hold regular check-ins: Schedule weekly or biweekly discussions to share how everyone feels within the relationship. These check-ins provide a safe space to voice concerns, celebrate successes, and address any shifting dynamics.
  • Practice active listening: engage fully in conversations, avoid interruptions, and reflect back on what each person communicates. This helps ensure all partners feel heard and valued, fostering trust and understanding.
  • Encourage constructive feedback: cultivate an environment where feedback is welcome and framed positively, focusing on growth rather than criticism. If one partner feels sidelined, an open discussion on how everyone can contribute might restore balance.
  • Set rules for conflicts: Establish ground rules for resolving disagreements, such as avoiding name-calling or bringing up irrelevant past issues, unless not fully resolved yet. Agree to address concerns in a calm, private setting, free from distractions.
  • Consider a neutral mediator: If conflicts escalate and become difficult to resolve, inviting a neutral third party—such as a counselor or psychologist—can facilitate productive discussions and foster understanding among partners.

2. When jealousy arises, it’s part of the journey.

In a throuple, emotions can get a bit intense, and it’s totally normal for jealousy to pop up now and then.

Dealing with those feelings can be one of the trickiest parts of juggling three hearts instead of just two. But hey, jealousy is part of being human!

Acknowledging that everyone experiences it can really help ease any awkward vibes and pave the way for open, honest conversations.

Strategies for managing jealousy:

  • Set clear expectations: Having a clear understanding of each person’s feelings about certain activities, interactions, and boundaries can help reduce misunderstandings and curb jealousy. This includes checking in regularly about how everyone feels regarding their roles in the three-person relationship.
  • Seek clarity: Each partner should feel empowered to seek reassurance or clarity about where they stand or to discuss other needs and concerns. This might include expressing needs for affection, attention, or quality time. Sometimes, partners just need a reminder of their worth within the relationship framework.
  • Practice empathy: Building a strong bond in your throuple hinges on understanding each other’s feelings. Practicing empathy means listening actively and grasping where everyone is coming from, not just hearing their words.

3. Find a sleeping setup everyone will love.

In a throuple, each person brings their own preferences when it comes to sleep, intimacy, and personal space. While one partner might love to cuddle, another may value a bit more distance at night.

Key questions to consider:

  • Do you all prefer to sleep close together, or would you feel more comfortable with some space or even separate bedrooms?
  • Are there any specific sleeping conditions (such as temperature or noise) that each partner should consider?
  • Would rotating sleeping arrangements from time to time help everyone feel valued and included?

Taking the time to address these questions will ensure that every member’s needs are met as much as possible, thereby enhancing feelings of safety and connection.

4. Privacy and personal space

The dynamics of three individuals can sometimes feel overwhelming, and respecting each person’s need for solitude is key to sustaining healthy interactions.

How to establish privacy:

  • Designate personal time: Encourage each partner to set aside time for themselves—whether it’s enjoying a hobby, spending time with friends, or having quiet moments. This “me-time” fosters personal reflection and individuality, ultimately strengthening the throuple’s bond.
  • Create shared and private spaces: In shared living spaces, space allocation matters. Create areas for everyone to enjoy, like a cozy living room or garden, while ensuring each partner has a personal space—such as a bedroom or nook—for private expression.
  • Implement boundaries on interactions: Communicate openly about privacy expectations, as some may feel overwhelmed by constant interaction while others enjoy it. Establish clear boundaries to maintain respect. Discuss ‘no-interruption’ times, such as during work or self-care, so partners know when to seek interaction and when to give space.

Navigating acceptance and stigma

Despite the growing visibility of non-traditional relationships, throuples can sometimes face societal stigma.

Many people still cling to conventional views of monogamy as the “norm.” Nevertheless, love is not a one-size-fits-all experience, and individuals in throuples often face misunderstandings from friends, family, and even acquaintances.

Facing the world together

Here are a few things to consider when navigating the complexities of acceptance and stigma associated with being in a throuple:

  • Define your relationship publicly: If you’re just getting started with a relationship and want to explain it to friends or family, you might need to fill them in on what’s going on. Just keep it real and highlight the love and connection you all share.
  • Prepare for questions: Expect curiosity or misconceptions from observers. Having a united front on how to address these inquiries will help you maintain your relationship narrative. It’s also okay to choose not to engage in every discussion about your relationship if you’re uncomfortable. Send them this article, if it helps 🙂
  • Create support networks: Seek out communities—both online and offline—that celebrate non-traditional relationship structures. Meeting others who are in similar arrangements can provide invaluable insight, support, and camaraderie.

Feel free to express and celebrate the unique qualities and traits that make your throuple truly special!

Is a throuple right for you? A self-assessment

After reflecting on the challenges and rewards of a triad relationship, here is a list of questions you should ask yourself before entering into a throuple commitment.

1. Are You comfortable sharing your life with two people?

Being in a throuple means sharing your time, love, and space with two partners. If you’re cool with blending your life with more than one person and making adjustments, this could be for you.

2. Do You value open communication?

People thrive on honest, frequent communication. If you’re someone who enjoys deep chats and can express your feelings openly, you’ll be setting the stage for a healthy dynamic.

3. Does monogamy feel restrictive?

If sticking to one partner has ever felt limiting, a couple might offer the variety you’re looking for. It could be a chance to explore connections beyond the traditional setup.

4. Do you embrace complexity without the drama?

Life can get messy, and adding more partners into the mix might sound daunting—but if you love navigating life’s challenges and keeping things drama-free, this might be your thing.

5. Are you ready to share responsibilities and finances?

With three partners, responsibilities and finances can be split in ways that make life easier. If you’re comfortable with shared decision-making and pooling resources, it can be a practical setup.

6. Can you give enough time and energy to two partners?

Maintaining multiple relationships requires time and emotional energy. If you believe you can balance both without burning out, you’re well-suited for a throuple.

7. Are you good at making group decisions?

A throuple means making choices that affect more than just you. If you’re a good listener and can find common ground in group settings, that’s a big advantage.

8. Do you feel one person can’t meet all your needs?

Sometimes one partner just can’t fulfill every facet of who we are. If you’ve felt that before, a throuple might offer the balance and fulfillment you’re looking for.

9. Are you ready for what others might think?

Not everyone will get it. If you’re comfortable with who you are and don’t let outside opinions shake your happiness, that’s a good sign you’re ready for this kind of relationship.

Take a moment to reflect

Go through these questions and see how they resonate with you. There’s no right or wrong answer—just insights to help you figure out if a throuple could be your next big adventure.

Remember: The goal is to find happiness and fulfillment in a relationship style that works for you and everyone involved. If these points resonate with you, maybe it’s time to explore the world of throuples!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr Emily Blake, Psychologist

Dr. Blake is the owner and director of the Blake Psychology clinic and a regular contributor to the blog.

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